How do you perceive conflict in your relationship? How do you handle it when it comes up? How effectively do you and your partner discuss issues of conflict?
One of the traps many couples fall into is discussing (or, in some cases, jumping from discussion right to “fighting about”) surface-level examples of underlying problems.
For example, perhaps a couple argues regularly because Lovebird A doesn’t help with tasks around the house without Lovebird B asking them to do it. The issue continues to come up repeatedly because they’re discussing something very specific (emptying the dishwasher, taking out the garbage) rather than the underlying concern: Lovebird B doesn’t feel a sense of partnership in taking care of their home.
It’s important to discuss the actual issues coming up in a relationship, rather than getting stuck talking in circles about a surface-level symptom of the real problem at hand.
6. Listen first
But when we choose to listen first (meaning: listen to our partner before asking them to listen to us), we’re focusing our energy on paying attention to our partner and what they’re trying to communicate to us-which means we’re more likely to actually hear what they’re trying to tell us. Continue reading Part of nurturing a healthy relationship is mastering your conflict resolution